Service dogs for our veterans

Happy Friday, everyone! 

As I mentioned last week, I am proud to take part in RED Friday (remember everyone deployed). I have always been so proud, happy, and eager to support our soldiers. 

One of my closest friends is a former Marine, and his experiences are heartbreaking. As a close friend of a veteran, I understand (to an extent- none of us can fully understand what they go through) PTSD and the nightmares that these soldiers have when they come back home. 

Naturally I cried and had all the feels when I saw this commercial drawing attention to service dogs for soldiers. 

I bawled my fucking eyes out when I saw this commercial. All I could do was picture my beloved friend in that situation (because I know he went through that) and I cried and cried. My heart broke into a hundred thousand pieces, as it always does when I'm reminded of the anguish these men endure. 

I want to say that I think service dogs for soldiers is a brilliant idea. My dear friend told me about his nightmares, about waking up screaming and thrashing. I sincerely wish he had support during those moments. A loyal dog would have been perfect for him. 

I am so very happy that my dear Marine is recovering, and a service dog may not be necessary for him. But that doesn't mean that others could benefit so much from one. 

In all seriousness, these dogs could save their lives. 

Sending our boys, deployed and at home, all my love and support. 

xoxo

-Captain Lakie, the Silly Mallard

Working girl

A couple posts ago I happily announced that I was unemployed. This has changed, and I am working one day a week back at the pet shop. 

I'm not gonna lie, I'm a bit nervous. I've only been away for a month, but I'm paranoid that I'll get to the store and forget how to use the till and forget the alarm code. Seriously, I think this will be me on Sunday: 

I'm surrounded by dog food and I am confused

Realistically I'll probably be fine. It's just like they say about riding a bike. You never forget. ... right? 

I am a bit excited to be back at work. Not having any income is seriously stressful to me. Even though I'm only working one day a week, it's an extra $88 in my pocket so how could I complain?

Me.

So, I'm currently in class and I'm having a bit of fun. I've been selected to be an editor for my news projects class, and I'm enjoying the role quite a bit.

See, I love writing. I majored in English at the University of Calgary for a few years (though never completed my degree because I was happy to accept an invitation to study journalism at a different school). I love academic writing, and I love editing these papers too. 

I've found that news writing isn't my preferred style of writing. It's a bit difficult to grasp, and many of my classmates struggle with it. A lot of the pieces that I edit see impossible to salvage, so it's a fun challenge to turn them into decent pieces. 

So far this morning I've completed 2 edits, and I am currently editing my 3rd story for the day. 

I'm editing students' work all serious like.

 This semester has been going fairly well so far. I don't feel like I'm overwhelmed and dying (partly due to my lack of job, I think). I feel pretty ok, and I think the nice weather (+14 in January in Calgary WHAT) really helps improve my mood and productivity.

Speaking of productivity, I would like to mention that my body improvement campaign is producing results. HUZZAH! I'm sticking to my "diet" (aka skipping white rice, bread, juice, soda, and other crap) and eating lean protein and veggies. I've noticed some bloating going down in my tummy, and some weight lost off my hips. 

I'm still struggling a bit with yoga and workouts. They really trigger my pain, to a point where I wonder if the exercise is even worth it. Yesterday I felt so ill, I slept and laid down for most of the day. I ran a fever and got so sweaty my clothes got wet and I felt sweat running down my back and my legs. What the hell... I'm telling you guys, Endometriosis is an evil disease. 

If you have endometriosis, this is what the inside of your pelvis looks like.

I still lust after those Victoria's Secret abs, so I shall persist. 

I had an ultrasound down yesterday, as ordered by my doctor. I've been peeing blood off and on for several months now, and doc wants to rule out tumors on the bladder as a cause. Can't be too careful, right? My specialist strongly thinks that the endometriosis has spread onto my ureter and/or bladder, and that is the cause of my painful and bloody peeing. Doesn't that sound so glorious and attractive? Ha. 

I'm still frustrated with my body and my doctors. I've been seriously ill for 5 years now and my condition only seems to be getting worse. 

An accurate depiction of how I feel dealing with doctors and a chronic illness: 

  

On that note, I hope you all have a great day and an awesome weekend! 

Squaaaaaats!

Good morning everyone, 

I am in a horrible mood today. Why? 
On Sunday I had the brilliant idea of doing a 100 rep squat challenge. Fuck. Considering I just started working out again a few short days ago, this was a bad idea. I was able to do the challenge without much of a problem (or so I thought). Turns out, I did my squats completely wrong, so now it's my thighs (quads) that are KILLING ME. Seriously. I struggle to get up and down the stairs and sitting down is too hard. What have I done??? Stupid. 

How I'm walking right now.

I've also learned that these workouts aren't doing my endo pain any good. The yoga feels pretty good but it's triggering my bowel endo and that's no fun. Is it worth it? I'm not sure yet. 

I have been adjusting my diet, and that's going well. I've been depressed so I'm not inclined to eat. When I do eat I'm doing well at picking healthier things. Plus I've added more veggies to my diet and it's pretty awesome. At least that is going well. Any improvement in my endo symptoms? Nope. I remain hopeful (but skeptical). 

I'm feeling completely blue. I'm a bit behind on my school work. I've been having some family issues lately and I feel like a complete and total mess. Sigh. I want to skip school to sleep. Just sleep, forever. Oh yes.

Yoga

Hello, Everyone

Over this past week I've been struggling a bit. My pain has been pretty bad and I've also been utterly distraught by the way I look. See, I've always been the thin, athletic little spitfire. Since my diagnosis 4 years ago, my physical activity has decreased slowly.
In 2011, even before my diagnosis, I spent a weekend hiking in the Rockies. I ended up in the hospital, to make a long story short. The ER doctor thought I had serious ovarian torsion and suggested I take an ambulance to Cranbrook, British Columbia.
So perhaps you can see why I'm afraid to get some solid exercise. So my weight has fluctuated, from freaky skinny to, well, a little bit too soft for my liking. I'm about 125 pounds right now and I'm not very happy about it. Finally I decided that this wasn't gonna fly with me, so I chose to start practicing yoga.

Yesterday I did my first session. It was... interesting. I had tried hot yoga in high school and quite enjoyed it. I went to attend a class on campus yesterday, but discovered that the class was too full for me to join. So I went back to my boyfriend's and got some videos going on Youtube.

Well let me tell you, this whole yoga thing was awesome, but, not so nice on my body. Some of the stretches felt ah-mazing but some, involving my left leg, were so painful that I burst into tears. 
Kindof embarrassing, considering that the yoga video was demonstrated by a 12-year old girl, and because my boyfriend was on the couch, half watching me, half playing Zelda on his 3DS.

My face while stretching my left leg.

All in all the experience went well. I did 40 minutes of yoga and worked up a sweat. I think it was a success, until I couldn't roll over in my sleep because OW. I'm hurting this morning, but it's nothing a little Tramadol can't fix!

On another (more important) note, I am happy to mention that I am participating in R.E.D Friday today. Red Friday is an awareness campaign for our military. R.E.D means remember everyone deployed. On Fridays wear red to show your support for our armed forces. Today I am happily wearing my red Semper Fidelis sweater, as I am partial to the USMC. Much love, boys. xo.

I shall scratch my own eyes out

Guys I'm going crazy, I think.

I'm in public relations class at the moment and it's pretty dull. (And by "pretty dull" I mean I'm ready to repeatedly smash my face on this desk). 

I'm really not all that interested in media releases and things. Oh who am I kidding. For some reason I'm damn good at public relations, even though it bores me. Whoda thunk, I'm good with people? 

I'm really frustrated, for a number of reasons. Beyond public relations and searching for an internship, I'm struggling hard with pain. I had this moment where my pain was really, really bad (it's been bothering me more than usual for the past few days) and I was like, I really want to make a doctor's appointment. But who am I kidding. I already have an ultrasound and a depot booked. Why should I bother with another appointment? They can't make it better, so...... DRUGS AND VIDEO GAMES IS THE SOLUTION. Seriously, that's what it's come to. 

drugs. and video games. 

F yeah health care, right? 

Anyways. 

I've been enjoying the new Donkey Kong game lately. It's pretty awesome, and I recommend it. See, I bought my beloved a Wii U game console and some games for his birthday. Of course he loves his present so we've been accumulating lots of games and keeping entertained. Really, this Wii U thing is a fucking blast. We use it for Netflix (SO MUCH TRAILER PARK BOYS OMG) and of course our games. Donkey Kong is hard but I've been loving it. My boyfriend even calls me Cranky [Kong]. 

These grouchy owls are my favorite part of the game.

It's been a long day and I am stuck in yet another boring class. My friend is currently talking at 100 miles an hour while drinking coffee. I wish I could share this sight with you, he's a mess.

This afternoon our Opinion Writing instructor had a guest speaker come in, a political cartoonist. Very interesting, this guy has some good work. It got me thinking about artwork, and how much I miss producing it! When I was in High School, I was super into art and I made lots of digital paintings. I used a bamboo tablet and photoshop elements to do my art. Oh, good times. 

I painted my own Christmas cards one year

I like drawing horses. Horses are the best.

A tapir (he has a balloon tied to his nose).

Anyways, this cartoonist. He was brought in so early as my instructor's response to the Charlie Hebdo incident in Paris, France. (Rest in peace. Je suis Charlie). It was interesting what this man, Wyatt Tremble, had to say in regards to his job. He said that political cartoons aren't fair. They're taking an politician's shortcomings and mocking them, blowing them out of proportion. He said it is amazing that his work sparks emotion and debate in a number of people. And it's true, these images do spark emotion and debate. And, unfortunately, shootings. Because that's how Islam deals with things that offend them. cough. I digress. 

The closest I'll ever get to a political cartoon.

Everyone, take some time to do some art. Even you boys! Draw something, it's fun, and it feels good. ;)
Take care!
-Captain Lakie (the Silly Mallard)

Bitter Pill

Good morning, readers! 

Yesterday I realized that I had been taking something very precious for granted. While my father was living and working here in Alberta, I was covered under his company's health insurance, as I am a penniless student attending college. Since my father had to move to the United States for work, my family and I were left without health insurance. I didn't worry too awfully much, but I certainly put off going to the pharmacy. When I did go the other month to pick up my prescription of Tylenol 4, a small bottle only cost me $20. Not bad! 

Since quitting my job at the end of December, I have been very nervous about my financial situation. After receiving my first ever speeding ticket the other day ($211.00....) I've been panicking a little bit. I've been budgeting my pain pills, only taking them when my pain tops a 7, and even in those cases not always taking one. Yesterday while attending my classes my pain nagged and nagged and nagged and finally I thought Oh fuck it and took my last two Tramadol pills. Unfortunately for me, the pain killers did absolutely nothing for me! Seriously, nothing. Nothing at all. I was sore and distracted so in my next class I swallowed down one of my few remaining T4's. Pain was muted, but persisted for the rest of the day. After classes I did what I had to do... I went to the pharmacy. 

I requested my 150 count refill on my Tramadol prescription, and also picked up my Depot for February. My uninsured ass had to pay $200 for this prescription.

This was me following my card swipe.

I did the math, and discovered that my Tramadol costs $1 per pill. A buck, per pill.Tramadol, my beloved Analgesic (pain relief without losing consciousness) is my go-to for pain management. Tramadol is an Opioid medication, which means it's a little bit "fun" (I get giggly and outgoing and a bit happy). I've been hooked on it before, just taking it out of habit, and let me tell you, the withdrawal wasn't fun at all. After that unfortunate incident, I've been super careful with my Tramadol, only taking it when my pain tops a 6 or 7 or is persistent enough to distract me from work/school. I much prefer taking Tramadol over Tylenol 4... T4's just knock me the fuck out. Of course those are the cheap ones. 

Me, on Tramadol

VS 

Me, on Tylenol 4

Anyways, I was super choked over this whole paying $200 at the pharmacy thing. I was so upset, in fact, that I announced my angst to my classmate this morning. Well she just swooped in and rescued my broke ass. She told me all about our school's health insurance, and I learned that they cover 80% of our medical expenses. They also have this app for submitting receipts, and a card generator to create an insurance card. Shout out to Jaimee for being amazing and being my health insurance angel.

Literally taking a shitty situation and making it awesome. Oh, wonderful Friday Morning. 

Also, shout out to my beloved for sticking by me through this cranky phase. 

Peace out, ma-fuckas!!!

-Captain Lakie 

Adventures on Tramadol 

Ode to My Little Dog

Happy Sunday, people! 

Every day I am mind-fucked by how cute my dog is. Really, he's so cute, it's mind blowing. 

look at Clancey for too long and this will happen

SERIOUSLY- my dog is so flippin cute. I admire it all the time. I just look at him and I'm overcome with the warm fuzzies. 

For those who don't know, Clancey is a Yorkshire Terrier, aka Yorkie. According to me, however, Clancey is a "Wolf Kitten". 

A couple days ago, I got into a stupid little car accident, thanks to no other than the horrendous winter driving conditions of Southern Alberta. Because of blowing snow, zero visibility, and flat light, I ended up in the ditch. Apparently I jammed my face into the steering wheel because I ended up with a little cut and a bloody nose. My car was stuck in the ditch, so I had to wait for my mom to pick me up on the side of a snowy highway. When I got home, I had some blood on my hands. Wolf Kitten was very concerned and sat on my lap and licked off all the blood. 

The little guy is in bed with me right now. He's such a stress reliever, I swear. This dog can make anything better. 

I would like to dedicate this post to Clancey, my beloved yorkie dog, my loyal wolf kitten, my best friend. 

Like most animals, Clancey is very perceptive. I am chronically ill, and ever since he was a little puppy, he's known when I'm having a pain flare. When I'm feeling particularly ill, Clancey's MO is to sit on my shoulder and guard me while I'm laying down. He won't part from my side, and that to me is absolutely heart warming.

Clancey is just a little over one year old, so he's still super playful. His favorite game is tug-of-war. When we play, he has this fierce little growl that he does.

Currently, Clancey's favorite toys are the "heggies" I got him for Christmas. Heggies are super cute and awesome dog toys because of the sound they make. While most dog toys will squeak, heggies make this hilarious grunting noise. It kinda sounds like a fat congested man coughing, but cuter. For Christmas I bought Clancey a reindeer and snowman heggie. Before I quit at the shop I bought him the Gruntly the Chef heggie. 

I'm so in love with my little dog, I just had to brag about how amazing he is. What better place to do that than my blog? 

*Chewbacca noises*

That's it for tonight, folks. Hope you enjoyed this evening's Sunday Funday: Ode to my Little Dog.

-Captain Lakie

Oh, Hello New Year!

It's been so long since I've last crafted a post.
Hello, online diary. Long time no see.

I've decided to pick up blogging again because my stress last year was almost unbearable, and creative expression often helps with that. 

It's 12:30 on a Tuesday afternoon, and Calgary is a bit of a mess right now. It's so cold out, and it's been snowing a fair bit. There have been lots of car accidents (Calgary traffic in winter driving conditions = March of the Idiots, narrated by emergency crew sirens rather than Morgan Freeman). 

I absolutely hate the cold, and despite being born and raised in Calgary, these harsh winters are always a surprise to me. Each year when it snows I'm like: what is this shit...? 
I find that my chronic pain also worsens when it's bitter cold like this. Along with my internal pelvic disorder, called Endometiosis, I have a form of Fibromyalgia, called Allodynia. The tightening of my muscles and constant firing of my nerves causes regular pain, but when I'm clenched up in the dead of winter the pain gets worse. On top of it all I have a nasty cold and really I just want to crawl back into bed and sleep hibernate. 

me, drinking something warm and glaring at the blizzard outside.

I am so happy to announce that I had an awesome Christmas break. I even quit my job at the pet shop! Yes it's true! I really did!

And the thing is, I really enjoyed not having anything to do. I even noticed a slight reduction in pain! Though- shamefully- I gained a bunch of weight over the holiday and I'm less than pleased about that. 

Now that I'm back at school, I'm quite happy that I don't have work to worry about. Unfortunately this means that I'm broke until I find a new job, as Christmas was way too harsh on my bank account... whoops. 

But here's the thing.... do I find a new job??? My next job will be at a vet clinic, I'm hellbent determined on that. But this semester (my last semester, I might add) I'm required to do a month-long internship. WTF. They require us to do a minimum of 35hrs per week for one month in order to graduate. My working classmates and I are livid. What are we expected to do- quit our jobs and take out a loan so we can drag our feet through a month-long unpaid internship? Christ. 

I'm really stuck. I want to work but I also don't want to drown in stress and have to quit in March. I guess I'll hold off.... maybe... 

On a different topic, in October I mentioned my pain was worsening but my doc had some potential solutions for me. Well, let me tell you, my pain is worsening alright. Doc figures that the endometriosis has spread to my ureter and/or bladder, thus explaining why I've been peeing blood. Doc thinks it's time for me to have another surgery- but of course there's a catch. He's not doing ops anymore. So he's referred me to a specialist in Calgary to do my op. Great- but the referral could take a year to go through. A year. Then I would have to go on a waiting list for surgery. 

My reaction to Canadian Health Care.

I'll keep my imaginary readers posted on this. Yay blogging!

-The Silly Mallard