30 Day invisible illness challenge: day 20

Day Twenty:
A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: 

Hamster keeping

Hamster keeping. Well doesn't that just sound like something a crazy person would do.

But I love hamsters.

 

They're really just so cute. I currently have two hammies, but I used to have three. 

I bought my first hamster in May 2013, shortly after I started my job at Petland. I fell in love with him as a baby, because I would put him into my pocket or my bra and carry him around with my at work while I helped customers. I decided that I just needed this baby hamster, so one day my boyfriend and I went to the mall and we adopted Sunny. At the time, I was living at home and my mother's one rule (that was clearly enforced when I started a job at a pet store) was NO MORE PETS. Well obviously I had to bend the rules on that one! David and I brought baby Sunny home, all sneaky-like, and the secret lasted about 12 hours. Mom found out the next morning but promptly fell in love with Sunny's cute face. 

This photo was taken on the drive home!

Baby Sunny was tremendously cute with his dumbo ears!

In all honesty, I bought Sunny because being chronically ill is lonely. I bought him because I spent a lot of time in bed, and I wanted some company. This furry little blessing turned out to be the perfect match for me, as Sunny proved to be a sick little guy. Sunny had chronic respiratory problems, and was continuously developing colds and lung infections. I didn't let that get in the way of Sunny having an amazing life, and he made a number of vet visits to treat his illness. Sunny found great relief on the Chlorpalm (an antibiotic) and I made sure to use dust-free bedding. He also ate a nutritious diet, rich in vitamins and antioxidants. He was a very happy hamster.

My little guy loved eating salads (in this photo he's stuffing a blueberry in his cheek pouch).

Sunny was this amazing companion that kept me going through the pain. It didn't matter how I was feeling, he was always ready to snuggle. When he heard me talking on the phone with my boyfriend, the sound of my voice would lure him out of his nest. He would come out of bed, stretch, then stand at the bars of his cage squeaking until he got my attention. He was a really cool little dude.

I was in a lot of pain and awaiting surgery, and Sunny kept me company.

Sadly, Sunny's respiratory infections ultimately took his life. In October 2014, after a bad bout of sickness, I knew it was time to let me beloved friend go. The night before I brought him in the vet for euthanasia, I gave him his last "sauna". Sunny's breathing would often be so bad because of the mucous and infection that I would run a hot shower and close the doors of the bathroom. Once it was steamy, I would bring my little friend into the bathroom and let the hot moist air do it's thing. Sunny loved saunas, and would relax on my lap, wash his face, and fluff up his coat. The next morning Sunny slept in his favorite spot on my body. When we were waiting in the vet clinic, his life began slipping away. Handing him over to the veterinarian was horrible for me. Hamsters are so tiny that one cannot perform a humane euthanasia via IV. Sunny had to go in a gas chamber, so I was not allowed to be present. This was crushing. I wrapped my little friend up in his blue fleece blanket and when the vet took him away, I cried and cried harder than I had in a very long time. The vet said that after he received a nice big dose of oxygen (to calm and soothe him), it took very little gas to put him to sleep. I knew it would be an easy passing because he was dying while I was holding him at the clinic. I took him home in a box, and buried him in a peaceful spot in my yard.

My Sunny Love.

The second hamster that I aquired was only a couple months after I adopted Sunny. By then I was in love with hamsters. Believe it or not, they are actually wonderful pets. Yes, they're small, and yes, they only cost about $12 at the pet store, but they each have these different and amazing personalities. Sunny was feisty, and a full on momma's boy. My second hamster, named Brave, is so gentle and loving. 

Brave and Sunny ate their salads on my bed- aka hamster diner.

I knew that Brave had to be mine after we received a bunch of Black Bear Hamsters at the shop. Black Bear hammies proved to be more aggressive that the Syrian (Teddy bear) hamsters that we normally get. Brave was in ISO at the back of the store because the other hamsters had severely mauled him... to near death. I looked at that little guy, with his face nearly falling off and his right hand broken and swollen, and asked if he would see a veterinarian. The answer? -No. 
Well this didn't sit well with me. I asked if I could please buy this hamster, and my boss sold him to me at full price. I took him home, then straight to the vet clinic. 
I suspected that Brave's right foot was broken, and the vet suspected the same. She asked me if I would give her permission to use a dog dental X-Ray to look at Brave's foot. I granted her permission to use this X-Ray, which was very experimental. They had never X-Rayed a hamster at the clinic before, and as it turns out, Brave was the perfect guy to test drive the procedure. Brave is the most laid-back, mush-ball of a hamster ever. While most hammies are squirmy and hate being held, Brave will melt into your hand and snuggle for ages. The X-Ray revealed that Brave's hand was indeed broken, but there was nothing the vet could do to set the bones. I purchased some antibiotics and vetericyn, and took home my new family member for treatment. The vet visit cost me over $100, but I didn't care. When I adopt an animal- any animal- they are getting all the love and care in the world. Yes, hamsters are a $12 pet, but they are a living soul and they deserve the same love and care that dogs and cats do. 
Brave has proved to be a wonderful snuggler and he is my go-to cuddle buddy to this day. Since I brought him home, he's fattened right up. He's living a charmed life! Since he's gotten so chubby, he earned his nickname "Newman", after Wayne Knight's character in Seinfeld.

snuggle bug.

Brave's right hand never fully healed, and one of his fingers is a bit deformed. But his face healed up perfectly! Not a scar in sight, which is awesome considering half his face looked like it was falling off. He has a hole in his ear, and an oddly healed rib. He's just so cute. I love him to bits. 

My brother and Brave playing some gamecube together.

Pumpkin is my third hamster. I received him as a gift, actually. My lovely coworker Marina thought I needed another hamster, one in my favorite colour.We joke that Pumpkin is the red-headed stepchild of my hamster family. He's got a bit of an odd personality, but he's slowly getting cuddlier. 

Pumpkin on a pumpkin

The thing is, all my pets have been invaluable in my happiness, and each and every one of them have helped me through my fight with endometriosis. The hamsters are great because they're small and fluffy and great for cuddles. Even when I'm feeling poorly and sick, the hamsters still need to be fed, their cages need to be cleaned, and they need interaction. Taking care of them gives me relief from my illness. It's not about how I feel, it's about taking care of animals. 

Thank you to everyone that's been following my blog through March. We're more than halfway through! Your feedback and words of support are making this awesome.

Also, the vet clinic that I take my hamsters to is called Arrowhead Veterinary Centre in Cochrane. I love the staff at this clinic- they're so very kind and loving. I will continue taking my beloved pets there, and I recommend them to everyone. 

-Captain Lakie

Drugs and Things

Hello, beautiful people!

I'm composing this post from my iPad, at work. I'm beginning to think that perhaps I'm a bit too productive for my own good when it comes to my job. I get all the chores and cleaning done rather quickly so I don't have anything left to do for the remained for my 8 hour shift. 

One of my more recent projects was re-marching the shop's Kong toy section. 

It's a mess, really.

As per re-merching habit, I pulled everything off the wall and started from scratch. I think I got everything nicely organized and I showcased some of the cutest toys we offer. 

Tada! It's so nice and neat now.

Kong makes some cute toys

Some of these Kong toys are absolutely adorable. Here are two of my favorites...

little squeaky jelly piggie!

Is this a koala? A Wombat?! All I know is that it's really cute and I want one.

After I finished the kong section I went on to re-merch all the cat toys. I kept busy. 

Today I strategically put away all the new cat trees and restocked our raw freezer. Now I'm left to type away at my blog amongst towers of boxes that need to be taken out for recycling at the end of the day. Such a good employee, aren't I? 

Lately my endometriosis has been acting up. Since my trip to urgent care, I've found that I've been bleeding each time I pee. It's now gotten so painful to pee that I dread using the washroom. It feels as though the right side of my pelvis is being pulled and yanked on and believe you me that's not a comfortable feeling. Unbelievable cramps ensue, though luckily don't seem to last long after my pee break. So what the hell is up? I mentioned this to my specialist, and he suspects either immense inflammation or endometriosis on the bladder are to blame. Luckily we have a course of action. Next Thursday I'll be seeing my specialist for the worst doctors appointment ever. We will be removing my IUD, administering a depot provera injection, and injecting Botox down my abdomen and on my, well...  Ahem my lady bits. DOES THIS NOT SOUND HORRIBLE?? Apparently the Botox will help with my allodynia so I'm trusting doc on this one. 

Needless to say, I will be taking a lot of pain killers prior to this appointment of death. Speaking of drugs, I've been back on the pills again, rather heavy like. My pain has been bad and I've had these horrible cramps, especially after bathroom visits. I've been taking lots of Tramadol, which sadly isn't doing too much for the pain. I need to take close to 6 tablets to get me through an 8 hour shift following a morning and afternoon of classes. That's pretty fucked up. That's a lot of narcotics. Do you know what that makes me look like??? Crazy, that's what. Or a junkie. Or both.

So high right now

This post is all over the place and for that I apologize. Before I end this post however I would like to share with you the thing that's had me excited lately. 

I'm pretty big into scrapbooking (I've spent too much money on it is really what I'm saying) and I love to give scrapbooks to my boyfriend as gifts. They're always unique and heartfelt and fun to look through. Lately I've been wanting some scrapbooks for myself, especially after my beloved Sunny passed away last week. So I finally got a scrapbooking desk all set up for myself. Castle Lakie now feels a little more homey, now that I have a room to escape to! I believe that creative outlets are important, and nothing beats the blues quite like artistic expression. I'm so stoked about my little scrapbooking space that I can't wait to work on my new project. 

Isn't it the cutest ever??? I was way too excited to start a project right away, even though I didn't have any photos for a scrapbook at the time. So I got the hamsters food jars and labeled them all fancy like. 

My hammies eat a nutritious diet of mixed fruit, seeds, nuts, and special hamster cookies

So cute right!?

I love stickers. 

That's all for today, folks. 

-Captain Lakie, the Silly Mallard

Sunset

Today I had to say goodbye to my beloved Sunny.

Rest in Peace my beloved SunBuns, my Golden Boy, my little buddy. 

 

❤

 

I love you, Sunny

Happy Gobble Gobble Day

Hello, gorgeous people! 

How is everyone today? For those of you who don't know, today is the Canadian Thanksgiving. 

I love Thanksgiving, partly because autumn is my favorite season, and turkey dinner is my favorite meal. There are few things better than over sized slouchy sweaters, cool fall days, family gatherings, warm food, a bit of wine, and cuddles with loved ones. 

This year, my Boyfriend's Mother's side of the family are the only ones doing anything for Thanksgiving this year. Believe you me, I am very happy and excited to attend. I'll show up for turkey dinner all early with my own portable cutlery set and I will of course be wearing my eating pants. 

me.

Now it is of course thanksgiving, so I would like to share with you what it is I'm thankful for. Following, in no particular order, is... 

The Official List of 

Things that Captain Lakie is Thankful For 

1. My Family 

From left to right: Captain Lakie, Lakie JR, Grandpa Lakie, Lil Lakie, Brother Lakie, August 2012

I know everyone says it, but it's true! I am so thankful for my family! I am ever so thankful for my family as well as my boyfriend's family. They are all so very loving and accepting, and they allow me to be myself. They let me fly my dork flag. They accept me even though I belong in the looney bin. All of you are beautiful and wonderful and I love you all.

2. My Boyfriend

Boyfriend and Scooter, October 2014

I love him. When things aren't going well he does what it takes to make it right. He's caring and devoted and supportive and kind. I am very fortunate to be with this wonderful man. We've learned so much from one another and we're always willing to make our love last. When I'm not feeling well he'll offer to make me a hot water bottle and get me comfortable. He took me to my last surgery, and waited for me at the hospital. At the end of the day we're a team and I wouldn't trade that for anything.    

3. My Dog

Clancey, 7 months old, March 2014

My wee little Clancey is the most loving and forgiving member of my family. I can't tell you enough how much I love that little munchkin. When I'm feeling ill, he knows it and he just cuddles up with me and watches over me while I rest. He is playful and curious, and I would like to see the world through his eyes. This dog loves unconditionally. I can't stop spoiling him... because I work at a pet shop it's very easy for me to come home with presents for him very often! (He deserves them all, of course!)

4. My Horse

Scooter and I, the day we moved the horses to our new property

My horse, Scooter, is the love of my life. He is part of my soul and I love him so very much. We are cheeky partners in crime, and I love how he and I get along so well. Together we are a team and when I'm with my horse I feel peaceful and happy. He has a strong, independent personality, and I admire him very much. He has these soft, kind eyes and when you look at my horse you get the feeling that he has seen so very much in his time. Scooter's history is a mystery to us (we don't even know for sure how old he really is). I treasure each moment I have with my horse. His favorite snack is a banana, and he really is a cheeky monkey. 

5. My Hamsters

Sunny exploring the new back yard, September 2014

I am very thankful for my three hamsters, Sunny, Brave (aka Newman), and Pumpkin. I initially adopted Sunny in 2013 because I am chronically ill and I wanted company while I was in bed. I got Brave because he was very badly injured from his time in the pet store and desperately needed to see a vet. and Pumpkin was given to me as a gift. All three of these fluffy little critters bring me so much joy. I love taking care of them, and I find a lot of joy in caring for them. 

6. My Body

I'm laying on a road.

I have always thought of myself and my body as two separate entities. We look after one another and coexist in a beautiful symbiotic relationship. I believe in souls, and I think that our bodies are simply just the beautiful, fragile shells that we occupy. My body happens to be stuck with an incurable disease called Endometriosis. I've been struggling with pain since I was 13 years old, but it was in 2010 that my condition really started going downhill. My body and I have been through 2 surgeries and a number of harsh and ineffective treatments. The disease has been an enormous challenge. I am very thankful for my body. Even though it deals with severe pelvic inflammation, having multiple internal organs and ligaments bonded together with adhesions, and chronic pain and chronic fatigue, my body still keeps running and looks after me. For that, I am very thankful.   

7. My Home

My very own barn!

This summer, I moved to a small acreage outside of town. I love it because I can keep all my animals together in one place. I am so very grateful and thankful that my horse is safe and sound in my own backyard, has a cozy barn for those cold winter nights, and a lovely pasture with lush green grass to eat. 

8. Animals

This bird decided that we should be friends, August 2014

I'm far from perfect. I am very imperfect, actually. There are a lot of things that I'm not good at, things I'm embarrassed and shy about, and things that I would change. I have a hard time connecting with people, but I can always connect with animals. I am so very thankful that there are animals in this world, so I have a way of expressing and receiving love. Animals do not judge and they accept your for who you are. They know a good heart, and they will love and appreciate you for it. A horse will free your soul, a dog will heal your heart, and ducks just make everything better. I think so, anyways. 

9. My job

Selfie at my old job as a kennel tech. I love taking care of animals!

I complain about it a lot because, frankly, it's boring. But at the end of the day it means I get to educate people on how to properly feed their animals. I teach people how to feed their dogs and cats food to give them a long, happy, healthy life. I like helping people solve their pets' health issues, and it feels really good knowing that people love their pets and are willing to take proper care of them. By feeding your pets healthy food, you're giving them the best chance at life. I like being the person that teaches pet owners how to feed their animals a nourishing diet. That's pretty damn cool!

10. Self Expression

I express individuality through snapchat and hamsters, among other things.

 

Before I composed this post, I was reading through my last blog, The Cinema Club and I was thinking about how fortunate I am to be able to express myself. I am thankful that I am able to use writing and humor as a means of emotional release. I am also so very grateful that my family and friends allow me to be myself. That is very important, and we really should not overlook such a beautiful gift.

That's all for today. Time to go eat some Turkey!

Cheers,

Captain Lakie, the Silly Mallard

I express myself a whole lot more over on the twitter. Follow me? @CaptainLakie

   

 

 

 

  

  

 

Throwback Thursday

Good evening, readers! How are you beautiful people doing today? 

So those of you who are on the twitter are likely familiar with "Throwback Thursday." 
I am a nostalgic type of person and I'm always happy to look at old photos and reminisce about the "good old days."

Of course I'm also not too sure what I want to "throwback" to today. After some thought, I decided to show my hamster's baby photos. 

Oh my god that sounds so lame. My hamster's baby photos????

*ahem*

Really though, not much else comes to mind and Sunny's baby photos are really the only "old" things I have on this laptop. Realistically this is so not "old" (Sunny is hardly even 2 years old), but he's damn cute and I freaking love rodents. So alas, I shall blog my hamster photos. 

If you're a rodent fanatic like me you'll probably enjoy this. 

We were excited new parents taking this little baby home! (may 2013) Look at those dumbo ears!

Sunny exploring my bed for the first time!

Baby Sunny meeting Annie

Sunny the cat wrangler sitting on his new kitty friend

Baby Sunny discovering his favorite treat- popcorn

Little Sun Buns munching away on lettuce for the first time

Sunny and Annie sharing a box fort

When I made Sunny a Persian rug...

When Sunny still hadn't grown out of his dumbo ears

All congested during his first cold, the poor little guy

A cleavage hamster is a happy hamster!

Oh god those photos bring me so much joy. I love my little munchkin. Weeheehee! 

Cheers!

-Captain Lakie, the Silly Mallard

The Little Hamster that Could

Good morning beautiful people. How is everyone today? 

I'm in a rather chipper mood for one reason today-  my beloved Sunny, who has been very sick over the past week and a half, is finally starting to get better. Hoorah! Sunny is my wonderful gold and white long haired Syrian hamster, and he's my "special needs" baby. Sunny has chronic lung problems and he catches colds and respiratory infections rather easily. 

I put Sunny on two daily doses of Chloramphenicol, which has done wonders for him. Along with his antibiotics, Sunny has been fed nutrient rich foods like egg, yogurt, spray millet, kale, and blueberries. 

I'm so thankful for my previous job experience as a Kennel Technician. My job taught me how to keep cool and calm and treat sick and injured animals professionally. 

While he still has some more recovering to do, Sunny is pulling through like an absolute champion. I can't wait till he's full recovered and we can have our usual evening snuggles.

So, I would like to dedicate this post to our little Sun Buns, the little hamster that could! 

Love all animals

-Captain Lakie 

Welcome home, Ponies!

Good evening beautiful people! How is everyone?

I'm feeling a whole bunch of things right now... Like, I've felt either ends of the spectrum. I had a total of 3 mental breakdowns today, but I also had an amazing and memorable evening. Allow me to elaborate.

My first and dearly beloved hamster, Sunny, is very sick right now. Sunny is my white and golden long haired Syrian hamster. I bought Sunny in 2013 from the pet store I used to work at.

Look at that cute face!!!

Since bringing him home, I've learned that Sunny has chronic respiratory problems, likely athsma. My poor little guy had a weakened immune system and catches my colds. He's sensitive to temperature and humidity, and his athsma flares up when it gets dusty. I love my little "Sun-Buns", and I've been absolutely heart broken since he got sick again. It kills me to see him struggling to breathe and sneezing all the time. He's lost so much weight and his fur is all rumpled. I've been giving him antibiotics, and hand feeding him nutrient and calorie rich foods, like egg, yogurt, spray millet, and lettuce. His condition seems to improve, then it quickly declines and I fear for his little life. Then he'll pick back up again and I feel optimistic. I really hope that he'll pull through. I don't want to have to make the decision to put him down. It's such a heartbreaking thought and it's had me emotionally wrecked all day. 

I had three breakdowns, the first occurring on my way to work. While on the phone with my boyfriend, I just burst into tears and bawled about how much I didn't want to go to work. When I finally did get to work and I saw how much stock came in, I burst into tears again. I looked at the towers of 30LB dog food bags and wept like a child. Later that afternoon Sunny was on my mind and I was scared that he had passed away while I was at work, then what I would have to do if he didn't get better. So I cried and then my nose bled. 

I did get to leave work early, which was fantastic. I stopped by  michael's arts and crafts store, to try to cheer myself up. I love making scrapbooks, and I have this unhealthy addiction to scrapbooking stickers. So I spent some time picking out stickers and I started to feel a bit better. In the meantime, I discovered that my favourite scrapbooks are on buy one get one. I wanted to get the lilac coloured one and a black one soooo bad. But I didn't really want to pay $30 bucks. The struggle. Next I went to homesense and bought a mirror for my makeup vanity. I also sent to Pet Smart and bought this adorable little fleece blankie for Sunny. It's baby blue and so comfy. I figured it would be a cozy little blankie to wrap him up in while he gets his antibiotics and hand feedings. 

Christ almighty! Castle Lakie has the worst internet ever. Like it takes a solid five minutes to send a tweet. I'm trying to look up funny pictures but I can just go ahead and forget about that idea because it'll take a hundred damn years to load. 

Sorry guys, if this post makes no sense whatsoever I apologize. This is me right now: 

I'm in no state to be blogging. OH WELL. 

The highlight of my day was finally moving the horses so Castle Lakie. Scooter and Bella are happy as clams and I can't freakin believe that my horse is in my yard! This is a dream come true! 

To celebrate, I drank a glass of wine while sitting on my horse, Scooter. Then I rode Bella, my mom's horse. What a great evening! 

My pain has been so bad lately. Last night it woke me up and kept me up. The pain was so much I couldn't get up to get some water to take my pills with. So I suffered until I managed to nod off again. Lifting all that heavy dog food at work really isn't doing me any good.  So that brings me to where I am now... In bed, high as a kite, blogging. 

As of right now, the way I'm seeing things, Sunny is alive, Scooter is in my yard, so life is good.

Good night Everyone! 

-CaptainLakie