I'm alone with a stranger

This post is brought to you by a socially awkward crazy person that is currently trapped at home with a Telus installation guy. 

THE HORROR!

OH GOD I SHOULD PROBABLY OFFER HIM A COFFEE. 

THIS IS SO AWKWARD. 

NOW I'M JUST OVERLY STRESSED. 

Ok. I'm calm. 
See, I currently have some big news to share, but I've been delaying sharing  it for some reason.
My big news? 

My boyfriend of 3 years and I will be moving in together. 

Isn't this exciting!? Boyfriend has been living in a basement suite for over a year now, and we had the opportunity to move up into the house (or, as I call it, the Magical Upstairs Land). Let me tell you right now, it's the cutest house ever. It's so nice, and I can't wait to show you guys pictures. We have both been utterly stoked to have all the finer things in life, like: a linen closet, heat controls, and a dish washer! We can't wait. 

Our first house together is amazing. Like,  

So this brings me back to the Telus install guy. 

We haven't technically moved up into Magical Upstairs Land yet, but we're having our internet and TV box installed in the basement, which we will later install upstairs. It's a bit weird, but Boyfriend assures me it'll be fine. I'm not gonna lie, I'm very excited to have a place with Boyfriend. 

This whole blog started when my family and I moved onto a small acreage that I dubbed Castle Lakie. Since moving in, I've found myself in this awkward homeless stage, where I don't quite live at home and I don't quite live at my boyfriend's. I've been living out of  a suitcase for a long time, and it's a bit tiring. It's not horrible, but it kinda sucks (makes it hard to get laundry done and I don't get solid quality time with my animals). Leaving Castle Lakie is hard (we literally just achieved our goal of having the horses in the back yard), but starting my own home life with Boyfriend is very exciting. 

In all honesty I'm super stoked to embark upon house wifery. 

Here are some examples of how I expect the whole thing to pan out... 

This is beyond accurate.

How a chronically ill housewife cleans, I think.

UPDATE: Telus guy confirmed that he does indeed want a coffee! With just sugar. I'm on it!!!

I shall keep you guys posted on the progress of moving into Magical Upstairs Land. If you have any suggestions on a better name for our new home, feel free to comment below.

Drugs and Things

Hello, beautiful people!

I'm composing this post from my iPad, at work. I'm beginning to think that perhaps I'm a bit too productive for my own good when it comes to my job. I get all the chores and cleaning done rather quickly so I don't have anything left to do for the remained for my 8 hour shift. 

One of my more recent projects was re-marching the shop's Kong toy section. 

It's a mess, really.

As per re-merching habit, I pulled everything off the wall and started from scratch. I think I got everything nicely organized and I showcased some of the cutest toys we offer. 

Tada! It's so nice and neat now.

Kong makes some cute toys

Some of these Kong toys are absolutely adorable. Here are two of my favorites...

little squeaky jelly piggie!

Is this a koala? A Wombat?! All I know is that it's really cute and I want one.

After I finished the kong section I went on to re-merch all the cat toys. I kept busy. 

Today I strategically put away all the new cat trees and restocked our raw freezer. Now I'm left to type away at my blog amongst towers of boxes that need to be taken out for recycling at the end of the day. Such a good employee, aren't I? 

Lately my endometriosis has been acting up. Since my trip to urgent care, I've found that I've been bleeding each time I pee. It's now gotten so painful to pee that I dread using the washroom. It feels as though the right side of my pelvis is being pulled and yanked on and believe you me that's not a comfortable feeling. Unbelievable cramps ensue, though luckily don't seem to last long after my pee break. So what the hell is up? I mentioned this to my specialist, and he suspects either immense inflammation or endometriosis on the bladder are to blame. Luckily we have a course of action. Next Thursday I'll be seeing my specialist for the worst doctors appointment ever. We will be removing my IUD, administering a depot provera injection, and injecting Botox down my abdomen and on my, well...  Ahem my lady bits. DOES THIS NOT SOUND HORRIBLE?? Apparently the Botox will help with my allodynia so I'm trusting doc on this one. 

Needless to say, I will be taking a lot of pain killers prior to this appointment of death. Speaking of drugs, I've been back on the pills again, rather heavy like. My pain has been bad and I've had these horrible cramps, especially after bathroom visits. I've been taking lots of Tramadol, which sadly isn't doing too much for the pain. I need to take close to 6 tablets to get me through an 8 hour shift following a morning and afternoon of classes. That's pretty fucked up. That's a lot of narcotics. Do you know what that makes me look like??? Crazy, that's what. Or a junkie. Or both.

So high right now

This post is all over the place and for that I apologize. Before I end this post however I would like to share with you the thing that's had me excited lately. 

I'm pretty big into scrapbooking (I've spent too much money on it is really what I'm saying) and I love to give scrapbooks to my boyfriend as gifts. They're always unique and heartfelt and fun to look through. Lately I've been wanting some scrapbooks for myself, especially after my beloved Sunny passed away last week. So I finally got a scrapbooking desk all set up for myself. Castle Lakie now feels a little more homey, now that I have a room to escape to! I believe that creative outlets are important, and nothing beats the blues quite like artistic expression. I'm so stoked about my little scrapbooking space that I can't wait to work on my new project. 

Isn't it the cutest ever??? I was way too excited to start a project right away, even though I didn't have any photos for a scrapbook at the time. So I got the hamsters food jars and labeled them all fancy like. 

My hammies eat a nutritious diet of mixed fruit, seeds, nuts, and special hamster cookies

So cute right!?

I love stickers. 

That's all for today, folks. 

-Captain Lakie, the Silly Mallard

Happy Gobble Gobble Day

Hello, gorgeous people! 

How is everyone today? For those of you who don't know, today is the Canadian Thanksgiving. 

I love Thanksgiving, partly because autumn is my favorite season, and turkey dinner is my favorite meal. There are few things better than over sized slouchy sweaters, cool fall days, family gatherings, warm food, a bit of wine, and cuddles with loved ones. 

This year, my Boyfriend's Mother's side of the family are the only ones doing anything for Thanksgiving this year. Believe you me, I am very happy and excited to attend. I'll show up for turkey dinner all early with my own portable cutlery set and I will of course be wearing my eating pants. 

me.

Now it is of course thanksgiving, so I would like to share with you what it is I'm thankful for. Following, in no particular order, is... 

The Official List of 

Things that Captain Lakie is Thankful For 

1. My Family 

From left to right: Captain Lakie, Lakie JR, Grandpa Lakie, Lil Lakie, Brother Lakie, August 2012

I know everyone says it, but it's true! I am so thankful for my family! I am ever so thankful for my family as well as my boyfriend's family. They are all so very loving and accepting, and they allow me to be myself. They let me fly my dork flag. They accept me even though I belong in the looney bin. All of you are beautiful and wonderful and I love you all.

2. My Boyfriend

Boyfriend and Scooter, October 2014

I love him. When things aren't going well he does what it takes to make it right. He's caring and devoted and supportive and kind. I am very fortunate to be with this wonderful man. We've learned so much from one another and we're always willing to make our love last. When I'm not feeling well he'll offer to make me a hot water bottle and get me comfortable. He took me to my last surgery, and waited for me at the hospital. At the end of the day we're a team and I wouldn't trade that for anything.    

3. My Dog

Clancey, 7 months old, March 2014

My wee little Clancey is the most loving and forgiving member of my family. I can't tell you enough how much I love that little munchkin. When I'm feeling ill, he knows it and he just cuddles up with me and watches over me while I rest. He is playful and curious, and I would like to see the world through his eyes. This dog loves unconditionally. I can't stop spoiling him... because I work at a pet shop it's very easy for me to come home with presents for him very often! (He deserves them all, of course!)

4. My Horse

Scooter and I, the day we moved the horses to our new property

My horse, Scooter, is the love of my life. He is part of my soul and I love him so very much. We are cheeky partners in crime, and I love how he and I get along so well. Together we are a team and when I'm with my horse I feel peaceful and happy. He has a strong, independent personality, and I admire him very much. He has these soft, kind eyes and when you look at my horse you get the feeling that he has seen so very much in his time. Scooter's history is a mystery to us (we don't even know for sure how old he really is). I treasure each moment I have with my horse. His favorite snack is a banana, and he really is a cheeky monkey. 

5. My Hamsters

Sunny exploring the new back yard, September 2014

I am very thankful for my three hamsters, Sunny, Brave (aka Newman), and Pumpkin. I initially adopted Sunny in 2013 because I am chronically ill and I wanted company while I was in bed. I got Brave because he was very badly injured from his time in the pet store and desperately needed to see a vet. and Pumpkin was given to me as a gift. All three of these fluffy little critters bring me so much joy. I love taking care of them, and I find a lot of joy in caring for them. 

6. My Body

I'm laying on a road.

I have always thought of myself and my body as two separate entities. We look after one another and coexist in a beautiful symbiotic relationship. I believe in souls, and I think that our bodies are simply just the beautiful, fragile shells that we occupy. My body happens to be stuck with an incurable disease called Endometriosis. I've been struggling with pain since I was 13 years old, but it was in 2010 that my condition really started going downhill. My body and I have been through 2 surgeries and a number of harsh and ineffective treatments. The disease has been an enormous challenge. I am very thankful for my body. Even though it deals with severe pelvic inflammation, having multiple internal organs and ligaments bonded together with adhesions, and chronic pain and chronic fatigue, my body still keeps running and looks after me. For that, I am very thankful.   

7. My Home

My very own barn!

This summer, I moved to a small acreage outside of town. I love it because I can keep all my animals together in one place. I am so very grateful and thankful that my horse is safe and sound in my own backyard, has a cozy barn for those cold winter nights, and a lovely pasture with lush green grass to eat. 

8. Animals

This bird decided that we should be friends, August 2014

I'm far from perfect. I am very imperfect, actually. There are a lot of things that I'm not good at, things I'm embarrassed and shy about, and things that I would change. I have a hard time connecting with people, but I can always connect with animals. I am so very thankful that there are animals in this world, so I have a way of expressing and receiving love. Animals do not judge and they accept your for who you are. They know a good heart, and they will love and appreciate you for it. A horse will free your soul, a dog will heal your heart, and ducks just make everything better. I think so, anyways. 

9. My job

Selfie at my old job as a kennel tech. I love taking care of animals!

I complain about it a lot because, frankly, it's boring. But at the end of the day it means I get to educate people on how to properly feed their animals. I teach people how to feed their dogs and cats food to give them a long, happy, healthy life. I like helping people solve their pets' health issues, and it feels really good knowing that people love their pets and are willing to take proper care of them. By feeding your pets healthy food, you're giving them the best chance at life. I like being the person that teaches pet owners how to feed their animals a nourishing diet. That's pretty damn cool!

10. Self Expression

I express individuality through snapchat and hamsters, among other things.

 

Before I composed this post, I was reading through my last blog, The Cinema Club and I was thinking about how fortunate I am to be able to express myself. I am thankful that I am able to use writing and humor as a means of emotional release. I am also so very grateful that my family and friends allow me to be myself. That is very important, and we really should not overlook such a beautiful gift.

That's all for today. Time to go eat some Turkey!

Cheers,

Captain Lakie, the Silly Mallard

I express myself a whole lot more over on the twitter. Follow me? @CaptainLakie

   

 

 

 

  

  

 

Building the Fence

Hello again, people. 

I'm blogging so much right now because I have oh-so much work to do which means I'm compelled to procrastinate big time. 

This weekend was quite eventful, and I want to share my Saturday with you. 

We're well into autumn here in Southern Alberta and we've been blessed with a gorgeous, long lasting Indian Summer (God feels bad about dumping snow on us in summer). Here at Castle Lakie, we decided to make the most of the beautiful weather. 

My friend and I decided to go out to the local Wolf Dog sanctuary. I'm doing an article on the sanctuary for a news assignment, and my friend, who is my manager at the pet shop, is of course a big time dog lover. So we went on a date and patted some wolf dogs.

making friends

Our visit to the Yamnuska Wolf Dog Sanctuary was actually really educational. For $40 we had a 50 minute long "tour" of the sanctuary. We got to sit in one of the enclosures and watch the wolf dogs, and handed them out some treats. What I liked most about the experience was what I learned. 

When I was a child, I saw this movie called The Never Ending Story. I was utterly horrified with one of the characters, the black werewolf named G'mork, or, "the Creature of Darkness." 

I have nightmares about this motherfucker to this day.

This demonic death wolf has occupied my nightmares since I was 6 or 7 years old. To this day I will occasionally wake up screaming, wrapped in the sheets in a cold sweat because this thing is lurking in my dreams. I'm not even kidding or exaggerating, I find this "G'mork" to be utterly terrifying and it makes me queasy to google pictures of that fucker. 

How 'bout another because I like to torture myself? Oh yeah, he talks.

Right, so because of this thing, I've grown up with this fear of wolves and big black dogs that look like wolves. To me, there is nothing scarier.

Me, every time the Never Ending Story is on TV.

Of course I was happy and excited to see the wolf dogs, but part of me was wary and, I'll admit, a bit scared. However, learning so much about High and low content wolf dogs was really interesting, and getting to pat some of them made it a bit better. 

 

I learned that wolves really don't like dogs- not at all. Breeding is hardly on a wolf's to-do list when they see a dog. However, it happens where people intentionally breed dogs with wolves, thus creating "wolf dogs".  The Low Content Wolf Dogs (more dog than wolf) were friendly and ate treats out of our hands and let us pat them. The High Content Wolf Dogs (more wolf than dog) wouldn't come too close to us, wouldn't eat treats out of our hands, and were skittish and wary when we moved too quick. 

This is Zeus, a high content wolf dog (he was my favorite)

After taking some photos and learning lots about wolf dogs, Steph and I headed back to my place to watch the boys build the fence and pat the horses. 

Boyfriend spent the day with my dad, and they were supposed to be building a fence. We're still pretty new to this whole farmer thing, and our inexperience showed when Dad and Boyfriend tried building a fence together. 

A day of hard work and a couple pegs to show for it.

Dad + boyfriend + tractor + heavy machinery = broken things

"Let's build it going that way."

"Hmm. Looks like we broke the post pounder."

They did actually break the post pounder. I felt so bad for them. 

This was my contribution to the fence.

Both were in a pretty bad mood by the end of the day. I was hoping that they were bonding or something but they were really just breaking heavy machinery and stuff. #Farmerhood

Fuck this I'm going home.

We will revisit this fence problem on a later date. 

-Captain Lakie 

 

Castle Lakie and Chicken Dinner

Good evening Liebens!

How is everybody? I'm in a good mood today! I had a really nice relaxing day off. To wrap up the evening I decided to play outside! 

I absolutely love when we get an Indian Summer here in Alberta. Today was one of those most beautiful autumn days... Picture big blue skies, green grass, golden leaves, and all the wonderful smells of autumn. I was sitting on the back deck with my little Clancey, who might I add, made a full recovery. 

I decided that I would love to go ride my horse into the sunset. It was a weird feeling, riding my horse around my own back yard! It was surreal and blissful. I rode my horse up to the living room window 

and giggled as I spied on my mother and brother in the kitchen. My little dog Clancey is very very protective over my family and I, and he wasn't particularly happy that I was perched bareback atop a big horse; far too high off the ground for a little yorkie dog to do any protecting. 

The curious Clancey watches Scooter and I through the window

Off into the sunset we go!

What a beautiful evening. And I can honestly say that this whole Farmerhood adventure is going over quite well! Dinner tonight is roasted chicken with mushroom rice, asparagus, and garden salad. Puppy supper is Merrik's Wingaling with fresh chicken mixed in. Right now I'm relaxing with a glass of wine while dinner cooks. Oh, bliss. 

Welcome home, Ponies!

Good evening beautiful people! How is everyone?

I'm feeling a whole bunch of things right now... Like, I've felt either ends of the spectrum. I had a total of 3 mental breakdowns today, but I also had an amazing and memorable evening. Allow me to elaborate.

My first and dearly beloved hamster, Sunny, is very sick right now. Sunny is my white and golden long haired Syrian hamster. I bought Sunny in 2013 from the pet store I used to work at.

Look at that cute face!!!

Since bringing him home, I've learned that Sunny has chronic respiratory problems, likely athsma. My poor little guy had a weakened immune system and catches my colds. He's sensitive to temperature and humidity, and his athsma flares up when it gets dusty. I love my little "Sun-Buns", and I've been absolutely heart broken since he got sick again. It kills me to see him struggling to breathe and sneezing all the time. He's lost so much weight and his fur is all rumpled. I've been giving him antibiotics, and hand feeding him nutrient and calorie rich foods, like egg, yogurt, spray millet, and lettuce. His condition seems to improve, then it quickly declines and I fear for his little life. Then he'll pick back up again and I feel optimistic. I really hope that he'll pull through. I don't want to have to make the decision to put him down. It's such a heartbreaking thought and it's had me emotionally wrecked all day. 

I had three breakdowns, the first occurring on my way to work. While on the phone with my boyfriend, I just burst into tears and bawled about how much I didn't want to go to work. When I finally did get to work and I saw how much stock came in, I burst into tears again. I looked at the towers of 30LB dog food bags and wept like a child. Later that afternoon Sunny was on my mind and I was scared that he had passed away while I was at work, then what I would have to do if he didn't get better. So I cried and then my nose bled. 

I did get to leave work early, which was fantastic. I stopped by  michael's arts and crafts store, to try to cheer myself up. I love making scrapbooks, and I have this unhealthy addiction to scrapbooking stickers. So I spent some time picking out stickers and I started to feel a bit better. In the meantime, I discovered that my favourite scrapbooks are on buy one get one. I wanted to get the lilac coloured one and a black one soooo bad. But I didn't really want to pay $30 bucks. The struggle. Next I went to homesense and bought a mirror for my makeup vanity. I also sent to Pet Smart and bought this adorable little fleece blankie for Sunny. It's baby blue and so comfy. I figured it would be a cozy little blankie to wrap him up in while he gets his antibiotics and hand feedings. 

Christ almighty! Castle Lakie has the worst internet ever. Like it takes a solid five minutes to send a tweet. I'm trying to look up funny pictures but I can just go ahead and forget about that idea because it'll take a hundred damn years to load. 

Sorry guys, if this post makes no sense whatsoever I apologize. This is me right now: 

I'm in no state to be blogging. OH WELL. 

The highlight of my day was finally moving the horses so Castle Lakie. Scooter and Bella are happy as clams and I can't freakin believe that my horse is in my yard! This is a dream come true! 

To celebrate, I drank a glass of wine while sitting on my horse, Scooter. Then I rode Bella, my mom's horse. What a great evening! 

My pain has been so bad lately. Last night it woke me up and kept me up. The pain was so much I couldn't get up to get some water to take my pills with. So I suffered until I managed to nod off again. Lifting all that heavy dog food at work really isn't doing me any good.  So that brings me to where I am now... In bed, high as a kite, blogging. 

As of right now, the way I'm seeing things, Sunny is alive, Scooter is in my yard, so life is good.

Good night Everyone! 

-CaptainLakie 

Moving in

Good evening, Liebens!

So much exciting news! First and foremost to report is my current living situation. See, for the first time in over 10 years, I've moved! And goodness does it ever feel strange... This new room of mine is gorgeous- it's like a little studio apartment. Sleeping in a new room, a new house, makes me feel as though I'm in a vacation house or something. But seeing my furniture, sleeping in my bed... It's so odd. Pardon me, the last time I moved it was 12 years ago and I was 10 years old. I barely remember the experience. 

I love my new room, and I've been having a blast getting it set up this weekend. There are many things that I love about the new house and my new room. I am particularly excited about my makeshift makeup vanity. 

Ain't it pretty?

My new place makes me feel like royalty so from now on, I shall refer to my house as 
Castle Lakie. 

What I am most excited about is embarking upon Farmerhood. Err... I believe that's the correct term? This new house we've moved into is on an acreage, complete with horse pasture and *drumroll* a barn! This means I can keep my loyal steed, Scooter, in my own goddamn backyard. 

Scooter is my best friend, truly the love of my life. So having him so close by (AKA 10 feet out my back door) it's.... well frankly it's fucking amazing. I CANNOT WAIT to trailer my horses over (this weekend perhaps). I can only begin to imagine the kind of shenanigans we will get up to...

We're the shenanigans type.

Unfortunately, I've been rendered just about useless thanks to my diseased pelvis. My endometriosis has been flaring up really bad these past couple days. Between hauling around 30lb bags of dog food at work and moving boxes around my new house, my pain has been flaring so bad lately and- surprise- I've been bleeding rather heavily. My pain reached a lovely level 9 yesterday, which has made enthusiastically unpacking boxes and building cheap ass Target furniture rather hard. 

For those of you who don't know, a 9 on the pain scale is a big fucking deal. I found this hilarious endometriosis pain chart on the twitter and I think it's worth sharing:

The last time my pain had been this bad, I reached a 10 and fainted and vomited in the back room of my old job at a different pet store. After a 10 hour shift My Beloved took me to the hospital where I was put on a morphine drip. (I was fired from that job the next day which  almost makes that the worst 48 hours in the history of my existence).  

Anyways...

I still don't have internet (I drafted this post on Monday, August 11th) but when I get connected, I promise to share pictures of Castle Lakie. 

Until then, take care and thanks for reading! 

~Captain Lakie