The depot from hell and canned dog food

Happy Sunday, everyone! 

On Friday I announced that I was going to the doctor's for my 2nd Depot Provera injection. Let me tell you, that was the depot from hell. See, the first time I had a depot provera injection it went ok. Apart from having the intramuscular needle jabbed into my tiny little arm (mistakes were made) I didn't get very sick or anything. 

Hours after my depot yesterday, I started feeling very sick, like I had a bad flu. I went home and my mother looked at me and said that my face looked grey. I felt sick to my stomach, I was feverish, and just so blah. Not to mention my ass hurt from the needle. So I slept for most of the afternoon. Yesterday wasn't much better. I watched as five angry, swollen pimples erupted on my face. I couldn't get comfortable, I was aching, sore, irritable. My skin was ultra sensitive, I was sweaty yet cold, I had a headache, and my ass hurt. I cannot properly express how awful I've been feeling! 

Today my pimples aren't as swollen or sore (yesterday my face hurt the pimples were so bad). I still feel malaise, but not as bad as yesterday. My bleeding is persisting, and really I just feel burnt out. 

The swelling has gone down significantly, thank god.

I can't believe how miserable I've been feeling after that injection. I'm seriously upset with this depot provera. Apparently the bleeding thing is normal (December-Present----- let that sink in). I'm sure the acne thing is normal too, as per hormone treatment. But what the hell, man?? I can't catch a break.

I'm currently being a very bad girl and I'm blogging from work. I have my laptop out so I can add fancy gifs and things. 

You're welcome.

In regards to this depot from hell, I would like to tell all women that are considering this drug as treatment to RUN AWAY! But, every woman reacts to the treatment differently. Hell, even I react differently from treatment to treatment. It's not a drug that I would recommend (frankly not many women do) but it's not like I'm an expert on the whole thing. 

Here's the thing. 

Lupron is the worst drug I have ever been on. Lupron, or Leuprolide, is the heavy duty "big guns" endometriosis treatment. It's used to treat prostate cancer, and it's actually listed as a chemo drug (despite the fact that it's a hormone treatment). I did not tolerate Lupron well at all. I was physically ill the whole time I was on the treatment. I was throwing up almost every day, I was weak, my hair thinned, and my pain didn't decrease at all. This drug is bad for your bones and it's just evil, really. 

I would recommend trying depot provera before you  consider trying Lupron. Lots of women struggle while on Lupron. I was paranoid, emotionally unstable, depressed (really just more of a whack job than usual). Many women experience this, and almost all of us advise against Lupron. Try the depot provera first.

Pretty much exactly me while on Lupron:

On a completely different note, I want to share with you what I did for fun today (Sunday Funday, Right?) I mentioned a little while back that I'm working at the shop again as the Sunday girl. Today I kept busy by re-stocking all the Merricks dog food cans. I take a little too much pride in my can-stacking abilities. But look at how beautiful it is!!!

So nice and organized *high-fives self*

If you're looking for a really good, high quality canned dog food, Merrick is the way to go. They have so many different varieties, and all their canned foods are "stews." So instead of getting this pate or paste in a can, Merrick features whole ingredients. For example, Wingaling has a whole chicken wing in it, and Brauts and Tots has a whole bratwurst sausage in it. Really good food for dogs of all ages and sizes. I highly recommend Merrick's canned food.

Merrick's features fresh whole ingredients. The Wilderness Blend, for example, has Salmon, Venison, Buffalo, Yukon Gold Potatoes, Carrots, and Golden Delicious Apples. Yum!

Well, I hope this post has been educational in one way or another. Maybe you've learned something about hormone treatments. I hope at least you've learned about a fancy new dinner you can give to your dog. 

Everyone take care, and remember... 

Back at it and OW

Hello everyone!

Today is Sunday which means I'm back at my old job. I quit for a month, and now I'm back to cover all the Sunday shifts. It really isn't all that bad, some extra money in my pocket never hurts! 

Speaking of hurts, I have a big time complaint. 

I have been on my fucking period since the beginning of January (this is after bleeding off and on for the duration of December). Give me a break! This is ridiculous. I'm currently experiencing hard core back aches. Ugh I just want to lay down with my pain pills and a hot water bottle. I've said it before and I'll say it again (and again and again and again) endometriosis is an evil disease! 

Tonight I am going to my friend and former coworkers house for a sleepover. She had the idea of doing the kind of slumber party that 10 year olds would do. We're gonna make cupcakes (that's right be jealous). 

Im not gonna lie, it's weird to be back in the store. Kinda like getting back together with an ex- familiar but weird. It's already proving to be dangerous, as I've picked out a few new toys for Clancey (as if he needed any more). Wanna see? 

The jungle cat skineez is too cute to resist

Skineez and Kong make some of the cutest toys. I love that we stock a wide variety of both brands at the shop. The little ducky (a Kong product) comes with a replacement squeaker which is pretty handy. The skinnies are great because they're soft. My yorkie loves to play with them. Clancey's favorite game is tug of war so the skineez are perfect for that! And those little kitty boinks he loves. I think they feel funny in his mouth and that's why he likes chewing on them. 

Man, time is dragging on here at the store. I'm beginning to feel a bit desperate because my bleeding has been SO heavy all month. I've been at shoppers drug mart twice already to buy stupid lady products. Uhg I am so sick of this. What the fuck kind of period has the nerve to stick around for so fucking long? 

this picture is always an accurate depiction of me.

Blerg. I hope you all had a great weekend. Beware, tomorrow is Monday. 

-Captain Lakie (The Silly Mallard)

Ode to My Little Dog

Happy Sunday, people! 

Every day I am mind-fucked by how cute my dog is. Really, he's so cute, it's mind blowing. 

look at Clancey for too long and this will happen

SERIOUSLY- my dog is so flippin cute. I admire it all the time. I just look at him and I'm overcome with the warm fuzzies. 

For those who don't know, Clancey is a Yorkshire Terrier, aka Yorkie. According to me, however, Clancey is a "Wolf Kitten". 

A couple days ago, I got into a stupid little car accident, thanks to no other than the horrendous winter driving conditions of Southern Alberta. Because of blowing snow, zero visibility, and flat light, I ended up in the ditch. Apparently I jammed my face into the steering wheel because I ended up with a little cut and a bloody nose. My car was stuck in the ditch, so I had to wait for my mom to pick me up on the side of a snowy highway. When I got home, I had some blood on my hands. Wolf Kitten was very concerned and sat on my lap and licked off all the blood. 

The little guy is in bed with me right now. He's such a stress reliever, I swear. This dog can make anything better. 

I would like to dedicate this post to Clancey, my beloved yorkie dog, my loyal wolf kitten, my best friend. 

Like most animals, Clancey is very perceptive. I am chronically ill, and ever since he was a little puppy, he's known when I'm having a pain flare. When I'm feeling particularly ill, Clancey's MO is to sit on my shoulder and guard me while I'm laying down. He won't part from my side, and that to me is absolutely heart warming.

Clancey is just a little over one year old, so he's still super playful. His favorite game is tug-of-war. When we play, he has this fierce little growl that he does.

Currently, Clancey's favorite toys are the "heggies" I got him for Christmas. Heggies are super cute and awesome dog toys because of the sound they make. While most dog toys will squeak, heggies make this hilarious grunting noise. It kinda sounds like a fat congested man coughing, but cuter. For Christmas I bought Clancey a reindeer and snowman heggie. Before I quit at the shop I bought him the Gruntly the Chef heggie. 

I'm so in love with my little dog, I just had to brag about how amazing he is. What better place to do that than my blog? 

*Chewbacca noises*

That's it for tonight, folks. Hope you enjoyed this evening's Sunday Funday: Ode to my Little Dog.

-Captain Lakie

My night at the drag show

Hello beautiful readers. 

Christ almighty do I have a story for you. There's no way to ease my way into this disaster of a tale so I'm just gonna launch right into it. 

My dear friend from high school is a tremendous up-and coming drag queen. His show stopping personality- named Misty- is drop dead fucking gorgeous and comparable to Nicole Kidman.

So my friend Funny Bunn and I went to see Misty perform last night. This was our first time ever at a gay bar and it was a little bit too exciting. We came up with stripper names for one another (of course she is Funny Bunny and I am Honey Bunny, like on the Twitter). We pretended we were a grouchy lesbian couple and commented on how all the men in the bar were prettier than the women.

I was drinking pineapple Bacardis like I was 18 again.

I'm going to be honest and tell you guys that Misty was absolutely amazing. Easily the most talented and gorgeous queen there. Even the host was enamored with her.

Stacy's mom has it going on!

Her pregnancy skit. Hilarious- and gorgeous.

...and a face full of crack-cocaine.

Misty made her own dress for this bit.

I was completely and utterly dumbfounded by how beautiful, talented, and outright amazing his performance was. Er, her performance. Seriously, it was jaw dropping. I have never seen a drag show before (unless of course you count Ru-Paul's Drag Race). I was in a fantastic mood and beaming with pride when we left the bar after midnight. 

Now here's where things started going south.

It was late on Sunday night and I had worked all day. I was tired and knew I had class at 8:00 am the next day. So needless to say I was quite happy to drop my friend off at her car, which she had left in a parking lot so we could take one car. Now because I live way out of town on my little farm, and because she lives waaaaaay in the south end of the city, we had to pick a sort of "half-way" point to meet. Unfortunately, said "half-way" point was in the shady south end of town and it was late and we were dressed for the bar. 

You can imagine our reaction when we discovered that Funny Bunn had left her keys in her ignition, locked in the car. 

well we fucked up.

So we decided that the best course of action would be to sneak into her Dad's house and take the spare key. But of course our story can't end here, so of course her father didn't actually have a spare key. 

So we called AMA and waited in the parking lot. What time frame did they give us for their arrival? 30 minutes to 2 hours. Really? Really? It's 1 in the fucking morning how could it possibly take 2 hours? Send the janitor over with a clothes hanger we can jimmy the door for christ sake. 

except this is us and we're too fucking retarded to break into a car.

We decided to run across the street to the gas station to go pee while we had the chance (because hell knows how long we would have to wait...) 

So it's really freaking late and there's no traffic. We cross one street without a single car going by, but decided to walk a bit up the grass median because there was a fence ahead of us. Of course a fucking cop car pulls up, pulls over, and the window rolls down. Now I'm trippin balls because I was dressed in my old restaurant hostess outfit (short black skirt, black shirt, knee high boots....) and I'm like: 

Oh Christ this cop thinks I'm a prostitute. 

What did he have to say? He friggin barks at me to use a crosswalk. 

GEE THANKS OFFICER. 

Onwards. 

We get to the gas station, and allow me to reiterate that this is a shady part of town and its late and we're dressed for the bar. So of course there's this gross older fellow thats on drugs and/or alcohol hanging around in the dark. He sees us coming and calls to his friend: 

"Hey! We've got a couple of hotties coming over!" 

Well let me tell you I was in no fucking mood. So I said yelled:  

"FUCK OFF"

And he yells over to his friend: "Oh she's coming up fast and she's trouble." Once again, I was in 

no mood. So I snapped at him, I swear to God, "You shut the fuck up I will punch a bitch." And guess what, guys? He actually shut the fuck up. It was glorious. 

 

We walked back to the shady parking lot without another incident, and AMA actually showed up within reasonable timing. So it was after 1:00 when Funny Bunny and Honey Bunny parted ways. It took me over half an hour to drive home and I am happy to announce that it was an uneventful drive. Funny Bunn, however, got a speeding ticket on her way home.  

I was up at 6 for class and alas, here I am, blogging... in class. I'm really good at managing my time in case you were wondering. Ha. I have a ton of work to do before I leave for my trip on Wednesday. I shall end this post here and get to work. 

Have a lovely day, people. Seriously hope your day is better than last night. 

-Captain aka Honey Bunny 

PS: Someone was literally shot in that part of town last night. Nice, eh?