Day Eight:
My pain feels like:
While I would be happy to talk about my iPad and how it was the best gift ever and how it's tremendously distracting while I'm heavily drugged and/or suffering with pain, I don't find it relevant to endometriosis and it certainly won't help raise awareness for the disease. So I have chosen to talk about what my pain feels like. I'm hoping that by describing my pain, other women who have similar symptoms may be compelled to talk to their doctor and get a diagnosis. I also hope that everyone else can get an idea as to what it feels like to suffer from endometriosis, and understand why a cure needs to be found.
In my experience, endometriosis has brought a number of different kinds of pain. Sometimes it's sharp and jarring, and sometimes it's dull and lingering. Below are the different kinds of pain I've had because of endometriosis. I'm sure many other women with the disease can relate.
The Cheese Grater Pain
One of the most common pains I experience is what I have named "The Cheese Grater Pain". This pain is sharp and distracting. It literally feels like I have a gyrating cheese grater in my pelvis. Sometimes it feels as though my muscles are stretched over the sharp grates, and it's such an oddly terrible sensation I can't stop and think that perhaps death is a pleasant alternative.
CRAMPS
Yes, we all get cramps. I am somewhat convinced that I get the Schwarzenegger of the cramps. When I get the cramps, I suddenly bleed harder than Niagara Falls and I am reduced to a moaning, crying, squirming lump of blood, pain, and misery. Tramadol and Tylenol 4 can't help my cramps.
Every goddamn day I get the ache. It's this dull, lingering, discomfort that worsens with activity and subsides when I lay down with a hot water bottle. I take Tramadol every day to help keep the terrible ache at bay. I've gotten so used to this lingering aching sensation that I've gotten very good at being productive and chipper while I'm hurting on the inside. Sometimes it gets louder and harder to ignore, so I swallow down my pills and keep on going.
The Mr. Orange
Lovingly named after my beloved smoke show sexy pants long time spirit buddy Tim Roth, the pain I experience every once and a while feels like I've been shot in the belly, much like my lovely Mr. Orange did in Reservoir Dogs (#MostFavoriteMovieEver). The pain is so sudden, sharp, and startling that I usually cry out, double over, and burst into tears. Of course I've never actually been shot in the belly, so I just assume that the pain is relatively comparable. I just wish I could be smoking hot in a pair of ray ban clubmasters while suffering like Rothy did. Oh god Tim, I love you. Don't tell my boyfriend...
The End of Days
Endometriosis is the herald of misery, and on days when I get this particularly strong pain, I believe that Endometriosis is perhaps the harbinger of death. I have experienced pain to this degree a handful of times in my lifetime. In this instance, the pain reaches a "10" on the pain scale. My body's way of dealing with such pain is to first vomit, then faint.
After my first surgery I awoke a week or so post op in a sweat. I first ran to the bathroom, thinking perhaps that I had to go. I threw up instead. In some kind of haze, I went to the kitchen (hell knows why). I distinctly remember my ears started ringing, then all of a sudden I got tunnel vision and I saw stars. When I came to I was laying on the kitchen floor. This happened again, embarrassingly, while I was at work. I was a Kennel Technician and I had a particularly busy day. I was working in the kennel room, talking to the owner of the store, when all of a sudden my vision blacked out and I fainted. I came to rather quickly and my boss laughed and asked if I had tripped over something (I happen to be very clumsy). She came around the corner and saw me laying on the floor, where I proceeded to vomit. It wasn't a pretty picture. Needless to say I finished my shift then my boyfriend took me to the ER while I was in my Snoopy and Woodstock scrubs.
I hope you enjoyed me somewhat comical summary of endometriosis related pain. I want everyone to know that for some, endometriosis isn't just bad cramps. It's literally so bad it calls for a trip to the ER and some intravenous morphine.
I greatly appreciate the amount of views I've been getting on my blog this past week. Your support and understanding means to world to me. Thank you!
-Captain Lakie
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