30 Day invisible illness challenge: Day 12

Day Twelve: 

If I had to choose between an invisible illness or a visible illness, I would pick... 

Um, neither...? 

I think this is such a stupid challenge question. This is not about comparing one disease to another. Frankly all chronic illnesses are awful in their own right. Instead of answering this incredibly stupid questions, I want to talk about the challenges of living with an invisible illness. 

Invisible illnesses really, really suck. It's hard because, on the most part, you look completely normal on the outside while you're hurting and sore on the inside. 

I find that some days, my illness isn't all that invisible. In fact, some days I look about as bad as I feel (this isn't good, in case you were wondering). If my pain keeps up for a while, and if I'm feeling particularly awful, I find that my skin pales right out and I may look a bit grey. Sometimes I get very heavy bags under my eyes. Sometimes I just look like shit. 

Most days, I see myself in the mirror and I'm like:

I think that one of the difficult things about endometriosis is the fact that it's an invisible illness. I find that sometimes I don't get the kind of care or compassion that I need. Because I look fine and dandy, people expect me to be able to perform like a perfectly healthy person. It is very hard for me to keep up at work and school when I feel like I'm dying on the inside. 

One big issue with endometriosis that I would like to address is related to it being an invisible illness. You can't see endometriosis in ultrasound scans. Endometriosis can only be seen/diagnosed during a pelvic laparoscopy. You cannot determine whether or not someone has endometriosis until you open them up and take a look. This means a couple of things. First of all, it makes endometriosis hard to diagnose. Doctors are very reluctant to perform surgeries. I think it's a liability thing (though I don't know for sure). Doctors will drag their feet and beat around the bush and do anything and everything before they put you on the operating table. Because of this (and a slew of other reasons) it takes, on average, 7 years for a woman to be properly diagnosed with endometriosis. Don't get me wrong, surgery absolutely sucks and it's scary and awful, but it's completely necessary regarding endo.

Thank you for reading, and please come back tomorrow when we discuss how endometriosis affects work and school 

-Captain Lakie